What Would You Do?
What would you do if you could do anything in this world?
Imagine, you were given the ability to access all of the world’s possibilities
and conquer all of life’s demands to where you had unlimited power to do what
you desired. What would that look like? Would you spend your time, singing your
heart out, or would you spend your days lazily fishing on the river? If money
wasn’t an issues and all of your grueling obligations were out of the way what
would you do with your time? If you are thinking of spending your time lying in
bed while watching TV then maybe you do need that. Everyone needs a break and
chance to unwind, letting their brain relax and rejuvenate. But you can’t spend
the rest of the days of your life watching reality shows and laying around in
your undies. After about day three it should get boring. Our bodies weren’t
made to be idle forever. Our brains need to actively function and our joints need
moving. But once your life is freed from all that kept you unsatisfyingly busy
what are you to do?
What do you think about? What do you daydream about? Yes we
all think about day long massages and naps on beaches but what else do you
dream about? As a child I used to constantly daydream about an alternative
lifestyle. In this life I was rich and famous, given the ability to sing like Beyoncé
and dance like Ciara. I was married to my celebrity crush and my alternative
life was filled with mountain sized, drama filled events (hey, life isn’t fun
if it doesn’t have its ups and downs). This life was exciting, fun exhilarating
and definitely not realistic, really only the kind of shit you see on TV. For
years that alternative life consumed me when I closed my eyes. I failed exams,
shut people off and became so obsessed with this alternative life that as I
grew older I feared that my life wouldn’t be normal because I was so infatuated
with what I had created in my head. Near the end of my college career and after
multiple failed relationships both romantic and platonic, I concluded that I
had an issue. With the help of my Psychology degree, I had self-diagnosed
myself with Avoidant personality disorder. My main symptoms were being standoffish
towards people and BAM! The presence of living in a fantasy world. I had
friends, success and love all in my head, who needed real people?
I was too afraid to actually tell someone what went on in my
head in fear that they would think that I was crazier than they had already assumed
so I remained silent. Even so afraid of judgement that I struggled to pray
about it. I was afraid to talk to my God about something he already knew, I was
messed up. But anyway, fast forward to my period of idleness. I had recently
graduated, took a trip across the world and was broke. To those in college now
I urge you to start looking for a job now! And change your major as well, your
parents and friends are living their own life not yours. They aren’t going to
be there on your deathbed saying Oh I wish
I studied dance instead of Chemistry like my mom told me to do. This is your life and not theirs, if they
have their regrets and reservations about life then oh the fuck well. That’s
not your problem. We are made to live life to the fullest and go whatever
direction God has given us, not what your parents say. Of course you will mess
up, that’s life. But at least you can say you tired it. At least you can say
that you gave it your all. It’s better to hear a story about someone who fell
off their bike and broke their arm over the story of you never learning how to
ride a bike because you were too scared. Or that you were too broke to afford
one. You see that bike lying on the ground
outside? Don’t be scared give it a spin around the block. I did, literally
and it was so much fun. Moral to the story was that I ended up breaking the
bike but I retuned in time to return it back to its place and run away like
hell. See that was a better story then me saying I saw it and wanted to ride it
but was too scared. Take chances and if they seem just out of reach, then jump
or cut the line to get there, that is if you really want what you dream about.
But again I digress. After college I found myself jobless,
broke, and bored. Lying in bed was fun for about a week but then I got antsy.
So with nothing to do and no one holding expectations to me, I decided to do
what I wanted to do. My alternative lifestyle haunted me more than ever while I
was continuously idle. Too afraid to tell someone about my problem and not
under the impression that I was that crazy enough for professional help I decided
to write this life down. Instantly the daydreaming stopped as I began to let it
pour out onto my laptop. Actually seeing my ideas written down gave me such a
great feeling of relief and accomplishment that when I finally did get a job of
working, all I wanted to do was to write. My mind had shifted from constantly being
in LaLa Land, to constantly thinking about writing this life down. I was able
to separate myself from my fantasy self and live a normal life with healthy relationships.
By acting on what my mind constantly dreamt about I was able to create the most
meaningful thing that I had ever created to date 6/29/2015 and that was my first
novel; StarPower.
What I am trying to say with my story is that you should do
what you dream about. No I am not a super star singer but my main character
Zena is in my book StarPower (shameless plug). I was able to turn what consumed
me into something positive. Even if no one reads it (although I really hope you
do), I will now be able to say that I did something I liked, I enjoyed, I took
a chance on. Something that the people around me did not expect and think im
crazy for. But I was able to take a chance on life and do something not surrounded
my money, although I wish it to be successful but something my heart desired.
What you do doesn’t have to be seen by the masses to be wonderful as long as
you can say that you did what your heart desired then that’s all that mattered.
God sees it all. Forget what other people think, for they will forever be in
their own little bubble not doing what their heart desires. They won’t be with
you on that death bed. But you will and your regrets as well if you don’t
follow your heart and live to the fullest. Listen to Drake, and live your life.
YOLO! (That stands for you only live once for those of you out of the loop.)
Take that chance, love that person, say what you want and
give it your all. At least you can say you tried.
Blessing with all your
heart desires
-Tiffany Li
